Being a fan of thrillers myself, I know how much depends on perfect endings and perfect crimes. Be it unmasking the culprit, solving a mystery or the murders involved and believe it or not, flagrant criminals are no longer “wanted”. What we really want are insidious protagonists and clever crimes because a villain killing people is far too predictable and if the hero kills, it’s justified.
So here’s to my fellow writers, who (like myself) want to write mind-numbing stories but get stuck at the climax (or the middle or just anywhere) because of not having a convincingly intelligent murder scene, a few ways to get away with murder.
Before we hop onto the list, I’d like to establish that the following ways are strictly for creative purposes and albeit they are nearly impossible to practice, I advise against trying them out.
Premature Cremation:
Beginning with the one you must’ve heard or at least thought about: burning the body down. However formularized it sounds, it is, in fact, a simple and unsuspected way to kill. It leaves behind nothing but ashes to fly away with the wind or in India, to immerse in an important water body. Now, it may sound too easy to some but as long as a body is not found there’s not much an investigation can prove. Still, if it isn’t as exhilarating as compared to the rest of your story, you may wanna spice things up here a little. Expose the murder technique in the very last line and have it described earlier in the story or get the officer to find out about the killing without solid evidence or better yet, have the officer kill. It’s all about the presentation with simpler plots like these.
Effervescent Bathing:
Tweaking the previous one a little which may just give you the twist you’re looking for while keeping the simplicity of the task intact is this one: draw the last bath for your victim. Fill the bathtub with acid and immerse the dead-body/get the person to bathe in it, whichever way suits you and your killer. The aforementioned acid will corrode your victim to nothing and even if it sounds impractical to you, remember, it’s for your book.
Hiss to Hush:
Have you forgotten that animals aren’t bound by the law? (winks).
Yes, you’re right, find a trustworthy snake charmer and make your killer innocently get the victim to explore the wilderness. It takes one snake bite and a pretentious “rush” to the nearest hospital and the job’s done. The investigation or even the forensic analysts cannot prove anything against the murderer because accidents as such are believable as long as the species of snake is known to be found in the place a credulous wife goes birdwatching with her unfaithful husband. Alternatively, the victim can be forced into a trap so designed that he/she “unfortunately” falls prey to a hungry carnivore.
Go Green:
Compost: /ˈkɒmpɒst/ noun 1. Decayed organic material used as a fertilizer for growing plants. “she used his dead-body as a compost to grow flowers in her backyard”
Riteful Ending:
Every killing has to be in compliance with the murderer’s personality. A clumsy, spontaneous character cannot commit a clean murder. So if your murderer is a patient observer who tactfully plans each of his/her moves and is characterized by a calm demeanour this will be a genius way to hide the cadaver. All the culprit has to do is stay on the lookout for another death or in other words, a booking in the graveyard and on the night before the burial, when a hole is dug to put the coffin, dig a deeper hole and bury the dead-body on top of which, the next day, a vault will rest guarding his crime.
Playing the vict
Can we all take a moment to appreciate the masterpiece that the movie Gone Girl was? Along with a mind-boggling storyline it also had a rather cunning murder: the killing of Desi Collings played by Neil Patrick Harris. To those who don’t know, the murder was portrayed as an attack on the victim in an attempt to defend oneself and that’s not a bad idea, in fact, it’s a brilliant idea.
Now, in case you’re thinking using this way is outright plagiarism then be it. Make the character a geek who loves Hollywood and goes on to use the classic to his/her advantage. And why just this movie? Find different movies and use whichever one you like.
“Accidents”:
For this particular method, you may just have to slightly alter your story (if you have one ready, that is). The person with the unfortunate end, should preferably live in an isolated house or a bungalow and have a habit of taking sleeping pills. This is because we have to stage an accident. As soon as the victim takes his regular pills and falls asleep, our antagonist sneaks into the house to leak gas. The rest.. is an accident.
Imaginative Inventions:
Finally, if nothing else works out for you, your imagination will be your last resort. Have a medicine or tablet that works in such a way that it causes a heart attack and leaves no traces in the body. Slip it into the victim’s food/drink and watch them pay for their unforgivable sins.
Other ways could be cutting the body into small pieces and flushing them down the drain or simply throwing different parts in different oceans/seas. Any of these (and many others) can be turned into spectacular endings with the right presentation and storytelling ability (and a helluva lot of motivation and dedication). It’s all about building suspense and subtly exposing the truth and the silliest of plots will leave the readers astounded for; all’s well, that ends well.