Have you ever felt attached to the characters in a particular book that you liked? And when the story finally ended, did it leave you in a state of sorrow because your favourite characters were gone and you were left-back in the world of reality? This might lead to you missing them, and wondering for hours about what they might be doing after they departed from you
If you have experienced any of the feelings mentioned above, you might have also related them to the people in your life. It isn’t unusual to feel anxious about the safety of the people you love and are important to you. When you feel attached to a person, you don’t want to risk losing them. Usually, such fear or anxiety may be nothing more than a biological reaction triggered in your mind due to some recent incident. However, in some cases, this fear might end up getting profound, which leads to being in a constant state of worry about the people you care about. This anxiety of losing someone that you love is called Thanatophobia. It can also be understood as a fear of death. The term is a Greek word where ‘thanto’ means death and ‘phobia’ stands for fear.
There can be quite a few reasons for the development of such a phobia. It starts with an emotional trigger when something related to death occurs. It can also be due to some traumatic experience as a child. Some people might be able to move on after a certain period. But for some people, the incident may sow a seed of fear which becomes quite deep-rooted. It can also come from illness anxiety or panic disorders. All these may be connected to the advancement of Thanatophobia.
The first step in dealing with such fear or anxiety is realising that you can’t control every aspect of your life. Some things are going to happen whether we like them or not. The best thing to do is to accept this fact and try to live in the present rather than worrying about what might happen tomorrow. You might not be ready, but you will always be capable of dealing with anything that comes your way.
“What’s comin’ will come, and we’ll meet it when it does”
Hagrid, Harry Potter
You must identify your thoughts and fears and face them. Go into an empty room alone and spend some time with yourself. This will help you develop positive energy, which in turn will help you mitigate your fears about death. You must reflect on all the incidents in your life which have been difficult to any degree, and how you were brave enough to face them. In some cases, a person might develop such fears if they have recently experienced a tragedy or loss. It is only natural to start worrying about the well being of other people around you. It might feel difficult to move on after a tragic phase, but life goes on. Time teaches you to move forward.
The next step is to vocalise your feelings. Talking to a person who is close to you, or even a therapist, might help you to feel lighter. It is always advisable to let your feelings out so that you can embrace how you feel. You can also try cognitive behavioural therapy, which will help to change the patterns of how you think and will ease your mind from the topics that scare you. You can try a procedure which helps to relax your mind. This is valid for any kind of anxiety. Meditation and breathing techniques are sure to help calm your mind and help you to have control over what thoughts you want to entertain.
Above all, you need to find a way to love your life and yourself. You have to start living in the moment. You need to occupy yourself with things and habits that matter to you and those that bring you happiness. Once you start appreciating the little things in your life, you might start feeling a change in your mindset. Living in constant fear of death will not only be detrimental to your mental health but also hinder your daily activities. You might become scared to do the simplest things – things which you would normally do without thinking twice, like chopping an onion or travelling in a vehicle.
In the end, you must always remember that the life that you have been blessed with is a unique gift. It isn’t supposed to be spent with the worry of losing it. The same extends for people about whom you care. Don’t think about what will happen when they depart, rather be glad that they were a part of your beautiful gift. People may come and go, and things may change over time, but what is important is what you do about it.
All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us
Gandalf, The Lord of the Rings